Slender Craig
by reyrocks
Summary: One night of playing a particular Indie horror game can lead to extreme paranoia for a certain Tweek Tweak. And when Tweek thinks his best friend could be a murderer, he'll go to insane drastic measures to keep himself alive. Kinda humor. Read and find out. I DON'T OWN SP!


**A/N: Hey guys, it's been awhile! :D I've actually been writing a good amount lately, I just never get to type any of it! :P Welp, here's a South Park fic I've been done with for awhile. I actually changed a lot of it at the end especially, I hope you all like it! I'll get to my other story soon and hopefully be uploading some more in the near future! Everyone loves Slenderman, and I just thought it'd be one more thing for Tweek to freak out about LOL ;) Please Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NUTHIN'! :P**

Slender Craig

"Oh no, oh no, no no no NOOOOOOOO! NO! Tweek screamed at the top of his lungs. "Every single time!" The computer screen in front of him was filled with static. Two days ago, Tweek learned of a mythological creature called Der Ritter. He really regretted joining mythology club. All they talked about were horrendous creatures that may or may not be real that could be a potential threat to his life.

Der Ritter is one of many names for Slenderman. Tweek had heard of him before, but never had he known how ruthless he was! He is a tall, thin creature in a suit and tie that has no face. In some sightings, he's even said to have several arm-like tentacles. He's said to stalk you until you go insane and rip out your organs and puts them in bags and then put them back in your body. This you can imagine sent Tweek in to a fit of madness. How would he ever live knowing a faceless beast of utter doom could be just around the corner?

After learning all he could handle, Tweek went home to his beloved Google to search for anything to keep Slenderman away from him. He had made the mistake before of letting the underpants gnomes walk all over him. Yes, this time it would be different!

Eventually, after hours of research, innocent Tweek had stumbled upon a downloadable game called Slender. He learned that in the game, you must collect eight pages of notes to win. During your search, Slenderman follows you. The more pages you collect, the easier it is for you to run into Slenderman. You see, you cannot look at Slenderman for long, for his eyeless stare will drive you insane, causing your screen to go hazy and you will lose the game.

After reading that, you'd expect Tweek to go running for the hills and never look back. You are wrong. For it is on this Wednesday night that Tweek Tweak was playing Slender in hopes of getting rid of the demon for good. You would also think finding eight pages would be easy as cake. Once again, you are wrong. You see, your character is fenced into a massive forest with no escape. It is nighttime and the only light is provided by the stars, moon, and a very weak flashlight, which may possibly run out of battery at any time. Tweek had never experienced that happen though; most people don't. That's because Slenderman gets you first.

"Oh Jesus!" he cried as his character ran through the forest. He had three pages at the moment, and that's when the _really_ creepy music starts. "Please don't find me!"

As he trudged deeper into the forest, he found a shed. On the back side there was another note.

"Oh God, finally!" He plucked it off and read it. "_Leave me alone_? Why don't _you_ leave _me_ alone Slendy! Ok, ok, no panicking. Just keep walking."

The place was utterly confusing in the dark forest with trees everywhere. There were several specific places were notes would regularly spawn at. The next place Tweek found himself at was the showerhouse. He glanced back behind him before entering.

"OH GOD, H'ES FOLLOWING ME!" Slenderman could barely be seen in the background; his bare face was hard to miss. Tweek quickly turned around to avoid the stare and entered the showerhouse.

"Oh God, I hate this place! There's nowhere to run!" The showerhouse was basically a series of random hallways connected to one another. It was enclosed so he was right about there being nowhere to escape. As he peeked around the corner, he managed to get by, only running into Slenderman once, when he finally found the fifth note, which resulted in even _creepier_ music.

"_Always watches…no eyes…_? What is this?" Tweek shivered in fear. In hopes of leaving the building to the safety of the forest, the second he turned around, he regretted it. Right behind him, Slenderman stood staring into his soul, driving his character to madness as the screen turned to static and flashed the image of his stalker's bare face.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as he jumped from his chair. "It never gets any less scary!" Tweek pulled at his hair.

"Tweek? Is everything alright?" his mother opened the door, just about giving him another heart attack.

"Yeah mom, I'm just playing a game," Tweek replied a little shaky.

"Alright, well get to bed; it's late." Tweek looked at the clock; it was already 12:56.

"Kay mom." When she left, Tweek threw off his day clothes and changed into his pjs. He jumped in bed and grabbed his phone. One new message flashed on the screen in front of him. _**Hey man can I copy the chem hw from you tomorrow?**_ It was from Craig. Craig Tucker had been Tweek's best friend ever since third grade. He'd always had his back and Tweek made sure to always have his.

He typed a quick _**sure**_ and put his phone back on the nightstand. He then grabbed his box of zzzQuil and took his nightly dose. He had definitely calmed down over the years, finally being able to survive on decaf coffee, but even still, he was just an anxious kid. Sleep was somewhat of a struggle, so zzzQuill was there to help. As he lay in bed, waiting for the drugs to kick in, his mind involuntarily thought back to his game.

_Always watches… no eyes…_

"Ngh!" Tweek closed his eyes tighter. Oh why did he have to be so afraid? He buried his head into the pillow.

_Always follows…_

He tried his hardest to just fall asleep. He soon became drowsy, but even in his sleep he could still almost hear a voice.

_Can't run…_

He was finally asleep.

Tweek blinked is eyes open to reveal nothing but a midnight sky and a vast forest in front of him.

"No… no! Let me out!" Tweek's first instinct was to run for the fence and climb over, but instead he found himself wandering through the forest. "Oh God, what is this?" he said. In front of him was a note. "_Eats you alive? _Ahh!" Just barely seen from a distance, Slenderman was already there, stalking him. "No, no, no, no, no!" Tweek ran off in the other direction with hope of some escape. He ended up inside a tunnel where there was, of course, another note hanging on the side.

"Wha…?" This time it was a picture of Slenderman torturing his prey. "Jesus Christ!" Tweek turned on his heels and was just about to run out of the tunnel, but to no avail, Slenderman was there waiting for him. "Oh God, he's _everywhere!_" Tweek ran out the other way. There was something oddly familiar about the Slender being, but he just couldn't put his finger on it…

Tweek had probably run the entire diameter of the forest by now and was still surrounded by trees. "I think he's gone, for now," Tweek said to himself. He walked slowly at snail's pace through the trees and wound up in front of a particularly large one. Without a doubt, there was a note resting on the bark on said tree. Tweek cautiously approached it. 'When he was close enough to reach it, he grabbed it and read what it had to say.

_"Behind you…"_ Tweek's head whipped back and his blood turned to ice. Slenderman stood directly behind him. Tweek screamed in fear as his mind when crazy. His vision became hazy and full of static. Then again he sensed that familiarity he had felt earlier. Before his vision failed him completely, Slenderman's bare face flashed in front of him, but suddenly changed into…

"Craig?!" Tweek screamed again and everything went black.

"Ah! No!" Tweek shot up in a sitting position on his bed. He was gasping for air as he ran his finger through his hair. "Oh god, oh god, oh god… Craig is Slenderman! But… it was only a dream! But it could be true, why else would I dream it?" Tweek thought about it for a minute. Craig _was_ the tallest person in their grade by far and he was a mysterious person, even sometimes to Tweek. "Oh god, he probably wears the dead skin of his victims to cover his face. Or worse… Craig is just a mask to hide the Slenderman! AH!" Tweek was just about to fall over the edge of his bed when his alarm clock went off, signaling it was time to get up for school. "GAH! I can't go to school! He'll be EVERYWHERE!" Tweek had six out of nine classes with Craig including lunch and which he sat with him. Yes, today would not be a good day at all.

He quickly brushed his teeth and got dressed. He ran down the steps and into the kitchen for his early morning coffee.

"Morning dear!" his mother said happily.

"M-Mom, do I have to go to school?" he asked tentatively.

"Oh course, dear! You're no sick, why would you want to skip?"

"N-no reason!" he sighed. There was no way out.

"Oh, and don't forget you have marching band practice after school!"

"Oh yea… great." Another place to possibly be slaughtered by Craig. Oh joys. '_At least there will be a lot of people there to be witnesses.'_ After his breakfast, he was shoved out the door. Tweek decided it was best to walk to school today. Craig would be there and eat him for sure! You could do anything on the bus and get away with it; for their old retarded bus driver didn't give a shit. It would be the perfect crime!

It didn't take more than five minutes to walk to school. Tweek hurried to the far side of the school to where his locker was. Unfortunately, Craig was waiting for him.

"Ah! W-what are you doing here?!" Tweek yelped in surprise.

"I got here early so I could copy the homework," he replied.

"Huh?"

"The chem homework?" Craig raised an eyebrow. "You said I could copy it."

"Oh, r-right, hold on." Tweek fumbled with the combination on his locker and opened it. He grabbed his homework and practically threw it at Craig. "H-here, take it!"

"Um, thank," he said. "Are you feeling ok? You're really jittery."

"What? Oh! Everything's fine! Heh..heh… why?" Blondie was talking a mile a minute.

"Just wondering. Worried is all…" Aww see, his best friend really did care about him… NO! That isn't his best friend, that's Slenderman!

"Nygh, w-well I'll see ya." Tweek dashed off.

It was still homeroom and Tweek had nowhere to go. He had first period with Craig so no going there. His safest bet would be huddled up in a ball in the corner of a locked bathroom stall. And that is exactly where he went for the remainder of homeroom.

When it finally came time for Tweek to leave the safety of the bathroom and go to homeroom, he took his good old time getting there. In fact, he slipped in a half of second after the bell rand. Oh yeah, badass. After morning announcements, their stupid teacher, Mrs. Ringler talked about the lab they would be doing. '_Urg, I hate Mrs. Ringler! Her hair is always disgusting and she sweats like crazy! Jesus!'_

"Ok guys, now get into groups of two or three and get to work," said the teacher.

Tweek felt a hand on his shoulder. "AH!"

"Come on." It was Craig. (aka Slenderman)

"Come on what?"

"Be my partner."

"Why?"

"Um, because we're always partners? You, me, and Clyde." Craig gave him a confused look.

"O-oh, right." Tweek felt stupid to be paranoid around Craig, but it wasn't his fault! Craig was _Slenderman!_ Or maybe in his human form he had no awareness to his evil side. He'd seen it happen once in an anime…

"Tweek!"

"AGH!" Tweek yelped again.

"Come on, we're doing this now," said Clyde who had come over to the group.

"Ok, ok." They continued with the lab through first and second period, Tweek not really paying attention to it. He let Craig and Clyde do most of the work while he copied down all the answers. He wished he could join Stan and Kyle's group, but they already had Kenny as a third partner. This particular lab Tweek did not enjoy. He didn't really know what it was about, but it involved matches which Craig and Clyde were just messing around with. '_Oh god, oh god, I'm gonna die,'_ was all that was running through the blonde's disturbed head. They were done with the lab so they were just fooling around.

Finally Tweek could take no more of the pressure and went over to Stan's table.

"Stan!"

"Oh, hey Tweek. What's up?" Tweek wasn't a part of his group anymore, but he considered Stan a pretty good friend of his. He was always kind and helping to him.

"I couldn't take it over there anymore! It's too much pressure!" he cried, grabbing his hair in the process.

"Why's that?"

"Well… I think Craig has done something bad!" he whispered so no one would hear.

"Why?" said Kyle, joining the conversation.

"I-I can't tell you! It's classified information!"

"Well seeing as you have most of your classes with him, your day's gonna suck," said Stan and Tweek knew he was right

The day continued onward.

Third period was better because Tweek had World Cultures without Craig. He sped through his test and lied his head down. He spent the remainder of the period praying to God to spare his life.

Fourth period he had Health with Craig which wasn't good. They always did partner activities and Tweek was always either alone or with Craig. Damn you Mrs. Ogada! They were doing an exercise today where you had to role play as characters and respond either passively, aggressively, or assertively.

"Tweek, don't you even want to try to make it look like we're doing the assignment?" Craig asked when Tweek refused to do anything, even look at him.

"N-nope!" He continued avoid his gaze.

"Dude, seriously, are you alright?"

"Yes!" Tweek said a little too loudly.

Craig sighed. "Ok…"

Fifth period was lunch. Normally, Tweek would sit with his friends, including Craig, but under certain circumstances, he decided he'd just chill in the bathroom the entire period.

Sixth period he had art, which he did not have with Craig. Why Tweek was in this class he didn't know. It was just an elective he was forced to take. He had absolutely no artistic abilities. Today they were making sketches in their books for their next project. All Tweek drew on the page was what came to mind first: _Leave me alone!_

Seventh period he had English, his final period of freedom because the next two he had with Craig.

Eighth period came all too fast which was math; Pre Calc A to be exact. Tweek wasn't very good at math, but Craig was so he usually helped him. To top things off, they sat right beside each other. Oh goody! Mr. Douty, their teacher, was one of the worst teachers he'd ever had, so he basically learned nothing from that douche. Craig taught him everything he knew.

Today was a work day to work on the assignment, but Tweek didn't understand what they were doing. Some graphing shit he presumed. He just sat there like a rock, doing nothing.

"Dude, you're not even gonna try that?" Craig said.

"Nope."

"Want some help?"

Not from you, Slenderman. "Nope," was all he said. Craig finally gave up and eventually when the pressure was too extreme, Tweek quickly excused himself to the bathroom and locked himself inside a stall.

"Ok, only fifteen more minutes until the period is over. I'll just stay here until then!" Unfortunately, the bathroom door opened and someone called his name. '_Ah! They're looking for me!'_

"Tweek? It's just me, Kenny."

'_Oh, thank Jesus!'_ It could have been Slender-Craig! He would've been dead for sure. Kenny was also in his math class so he assumed Douty sent him to check on him. That bastard.

"What do you want?" Tweek asked coming out from the stall.

"Man, I haven't seen you this insane in years. What's going on?" he asked.

"If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy!"

"Tweek, you are crazy. It won't make much difference," Kenny said, trying to reassure him, even though it didn't sound that way.

"Fine… I think, um, I think…"

"Spit it out."

"I think Slenderman is among us!" he screamed.

"What?"

"Someone, I won't say who, has been lying to us about their identity. I think this person is Slenderman!"

"Tweek, where the hell did you get _that_ idea?"

"The internet man! It knows all about Slendy! Except how to kill him! I need to find out! So I've been playing Slender for the past few nights-"

"See, there's your problem."

"What?"

"You need to stop playing that game, man. It's messing with your head, making you go crazy. It's not real dude. No such thing as Slenderman." said Kenny.

"…Alright than, I guess I'm over reacting a bit."

"Good. Now let's get back to class and get our stuff so we can go to band."

"But all my stuff is here." Tweek gestured to the stuff he had piled into the handicap stall that belonged to him.

"Um, ok. I guess I'll see you in band then…" Kenny replied in confusion.

"Yup, bye." Once Kenny was gone, Tweek dove back into the stall and locked it. "Don't tell ME not to play that game when Slender-Craig is out there!" He was officially insane.

When then bell rang, Tweek made a v-line for the band room. Normally, he'd be one of the last people in class, but today was not a normal day.

"Wow, you got here fast," said Damien Thorn, one of his fellow percussionists. Remember Damien? Devil's son. Sadistic asshole. You get the jist.

"Y-yeah I guess," Tweek replied, anxiously. He scurried off to set up for the songs listed on the board. He noticed Craig walk in all alone and give him a funny look. '_What's with that face, huh Slendy?!'_ Tweek was surely crazy. Everything at the moment was working against him. Craig's band locker, a trombone locker, was located in the back of the room near the percussion equipment. '_Goddammit!'_ Tweek thought angrily. He tried to make himself look busy instead of paranoid. At least he must have gotten the message because Craig did not approach him.

When the period was almost over, signaling the end of the day, everyone put away the stands and chair like every day, while they waited for the bell to ring. _'Oh shit! I have marching band practice! I gotta find someone else to walk with…'_ Normally Tweek would've walked out to the parking lot (where they practiced) with Craig. Come to think of it, Tweek practically walked everywhere with his friend. How unfortunate.

"Hey Tweek, don't just stand there!" said Wendy who was waiting to get to her locker.

"Oh! Sorry Wendy…"

"It's ok. Are you feeling better? Stan told me you were acting weird today."

Oh course he did. "Not really. Hey, can I walk out to the field with you guys?"

"Sure!" she replied while putting her flute away and retrieving her piccolo from her locker. "Get your tenor and let's go."

"Kay," Tweek peeked around the corner to check the lockers in the back. Craig was just going out the door with Clyde and Token, instruments in hand, headed for the lot. Tweek sighed in relief and went to the back to get his tenor drums.

Tweek and Wendy waited for Stan and Kyle to get their instruments and headed out. The walk itself was pretty peaceful, except for Cartman bragging about how his tuba was WAY bigger than Kyle's trumpet (if you know what I mean). Once everyone was at the lot, Mr. Bitner had them line up for basics. For once, luck was on his side; the trombones were at the complete opposite end of the basic block from percussion. Basic went on forever, as usual, and they finally got to practice their actual show. Practice was just miserable, but somehow, Tweek got through it. When practice was officially over, Tweek got nervous; he and Craig always walked home together. '_Not today, bitch!'_ Tweek thought. He hurried and got his things and left the school. Finally, he was alone.

"Wait… I'M ALL ALONE!" Tweek screamed out loud. This wasn't good! Now he'd surely be murdered! '_Oh god, oh god, oh god, whyyyy?_' He stepped up his pace and if only to make matters worse, he worst nightmare showed up.

"Hey Tweek! I need to talk to you!" Craig called form behind him. Tweek froze in his tracks, but didn't turn around to face him. He heard Craig approach him and he started to speak. "I don't know what's wrong with you today or why you've been ignoring me, but I want to. I haven't seen this side of you for years. If I did something to piss you off, I'm sorry. You're my best friend… I missed you today, so just talk to me."

No response.

"Tweek?" Craig put a hand on his friends shoulder when suddenly Tweek turned around and pointed a gun at his head. "Jesus Christ Tweek! What the hell are you doing?!"

"You LIAR! You're here to kill me!" Tweek screamed, firmly holding the gun.

"I'd think it's the other way around actually…"

"No! I won't let you kill me, even if I have to kill you first, Slenderman!"

"…WHAT?!"

"Yeah that's right! I know your secret! And now I can finally rid you from the world!" Tweek said with an evil smirk on his face.

"Dude, put down the gun. I am _not_ Slenderman! How did you even come up with that?" As much as he didn't want to admit it, Craig was scared. His best friend was pointing a gun at his face and knowing Tweek, he would go to drastic measures during one of his fits.

"I had a dream, and _you_ were Slenderman!"

"That doesn't prove anything!"

"But it makes sense! You being all tall! I need to find all the notes!" By now, Tweek was just talking crazy.

"Notes? Oh God, you've been playing Slender?!" Craig exclaimed. "Dude that game is sick, I even get scared playing it. Why would you _want_ to play that game?"

"Because once I get all the notes, I'll be able to kill Slendy!" Tweek shouted.

Craig sighed. "You've never actually finished the game have you."

"No."

"You can't kill him."

"…WHAT?!"

"After you get the eight pages, Slenderman kills you anyway."

Silence.

"NOOOO!" Tweek dropped the gun. He was in shock and at the same time hysterical. "How will I defeat him now?! Oh Jesus, it's the gnomes all over again!"

"Hey, hey, calm do-"

"Don't touch meee!"

"Tweek, this is ridiculous." Craig was getting sick of his accusations. "Slenderman is a myth. A fucking myth."

"But how can you be sure?" Tweek asked.

"Well, I guess you really can't be, but even if he was real, what are the chances you'll ever see him? I mean, he's like Bigfoot and the Lockness Monster; you only find 'em if you go looking for them. All those people are liars anyway…" He muttered the last part.

"That… makes sense," Tweek replied.

"Good, now let's go home."

"Okay… sorry, and thanks Craig." He smiled.

"What are best friends for?" Craig replied. "By the way… where the hell did you get that gun?!"

Tweek laughed. "I took it from my dad."

"Oh and do me a favor; never play Slender again." Craig said.

"Done!"

"Good, see ya tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see ya!" Tweek said and headed home.

Craig watched as his best friend walked away. When he could no longer be seen, Craig picked the gun off of the ground he'd left behind and put it in his back pocket.

"Damn, that was close. Never thought you'd figure that one out Tweek. Oh well, he believed me… for now."

He walked home to the forest.

**A/N: Love? Hate? Please share! In a review! Yes! Ok, I'm done now… :)**

**~reyrocks**


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